My Most Favorite 80's Kid...

Some of you might know that I get help at times to do my 80's show on AKAradio, and said help is named "Billy". That kid knows his 80's Cheetos, even if he is only 10 years old. He's been listening to my 80'sness for years, as well as to Vanis' "Live From Brasil" (7 more years, Vanis!).

After school today, he stated that he needed help in a poem he had to write for his Language Arts class. I told him to write what he wanted to write about, no matter what it was, if he could, and that I would help him with any questions. He nodded and set forth to write his Nobel Prize winning poem (as he called it), or so I thought...

He wrote it in a looooooooong paragraph. I read it. It was good. Not a poem though. I asked to see what his teacher had given him, and all it was was a note written in her hand to write a "paragraph". I have no idea what is going on in schools these days, but to tell a kid to write it in a paragraph format is just...just...where the Hell did you get your degree, Ms. $77,000-a-year teacher?! I'm serio.

I grabbed a red pencil and sectioned off what he had written, explaining to him that in the norm of writing poems, it would have to rhyme, but that he need not rhyme if he wrote it in stanzas..quatrain ones. That all he had to do was take the key points of what he had and give it feeling..make it flow. With a pensive look, he nodded and ran off to my room to do a re-write.

Fastforward 5 hours...
..with a bit of backstory...he was only 5 years old when he went to this school after a couple of years of being in a private ($$$$$$$) one. His school is named almost identical to mine that I went to at his age, so this was much more heartfelt for me than it will be to you that read it.

I found this on my pillow...

My First Day At Workman Elementary
By Billy *****

I walked
to the strange school
with the strange classroom
full of strange kids


I was frightened
I was scared
I was nervous
as I walked into the class


My face was red
I was embarrassed
I knew I needed to make new friends
But I missed my old friends at Discovery World


I talked, I played during recess
I got to know a little about them
And it gave me the courage
to ask them to be my friend
"Yes!" they said


It was nice to have friends
as I walked away
from these not so strange kids
In this not so strange classroom
at this not so strange
Workman Elementary

He even had drawings around each of the stanzas to fit them. To me? This was beautiful.

/me enqeues Alphaville's Forever Young

Guess What Time It Is?!

It's time for the 2010 Bad News Bears saga to begin! Hopefully 2010 will be a better year with less nepotism and moments of extreme rage that causes one to get kicked off the field.

From the look of this year's team rosters, many of them will have a total of 40% all-stars and 60% middle-to-lower level players. I just hope that my two teams end up in the top 5. What two teams did I end up with this year? Well let me tell you...

The Mets
Minors Level (9-11 year olds)

We lost the coach before the draft even started. We have no coach, have no team moms, one assistant coach and a bunch of skeptical dads. This is how my luck rolls, people.

Didn't recognize any of the players other than Billy, and he's the tallest one of the lot. Some of these boys looked like they didn't want to be there at all; looked like a bunch of XBoxers to me with their squinty eyes and twitching hands.

I'm hoping I get a call by Tuesday to tell me if  someone "male" volunteered to coach, because female coaches above Farmers Level get NO RESPECT in this ghetto league. And if there is no "male" coach and this team does as good as I believe they will, you know what I will say to that, right?  **Note to Vanis: Due to my bias, I'm going to get Billy trained to pitch. He scored 13-out-of-15 in the Draft Try-Out Scores and he was a 3rd Round pick. Not bad for a 2nd year little leaguer, eh? Go, Billy! 

The Pirates

Farmer Level (7-8 year olds)

I recognized 2 players from the previous year. Half the team is female again. Parents were pretty laid back, except for when they found out that they have a 1st-year coach. You could hear the groans all the way to the OC. Gotta have faith-a, faith-a, faith, ya bastids!

Kids were rather calm, probably because they hadn't been to McDonalds yet this morning. Team colors are going to be ghetto Raiders black again. Might as well have them grow out their hair, smudge on some liner, and get them sparkly emo helmets.

No more t-ball hitting so it's going to be a challenge to get them to hit anything over 10mph. Nonetheless, I have great expectations! Go Pirates!

I'm not going to put all my chicks into the basket as of yet, but as I stated above, I do have faith that these kids will do great and will have fun doing it.

More updates to appear soon!

Sidenote: Ever talk to a group of parents with a booger going in-and-out your nose each time you spoke? Yeah...

I Miss Popov...

I sit here sometimes wishing for the one thing that used to make me be outright happy Evil. Popov. I miss it. I also miss smoking. Hand-in-hand they were the most beautiful thing. But not as beautiful as...

...fill in the blank(s)